Do you want to know what my big challenge is at the moment? I'll tell you: answer the question.

He pointed out to me that I often answered the question he asked me off the mark and that generated impatience. Or worse: I respond with a reproach or a contemptuous remark.

An example :

– Where is the salad bowl?

– Well, you don't know where we put the salad bowls? Well then, it was in the fridge because there was the tomato salad, but since we finished it last night, we had to wash it… did you look next to the sink?

- He is not there.

– So put away, cupboard at the top right?

Ah! I finally answered the question. For better communication, I should have said from the start:

Cupboard top right.

He wouldn't have been hanging around during my entire script. And if the salad bowl was not stored in its place, we would have looked elsewhere. But the tomato salad and the whole context of the thing, in fact, who cares, right?

And above all, if he asks me the question, it's because he doesn't know (or he's too lazy to remember): he's waiting for an answer, and above all not a reproach.

And I assure you that since we discussed this (that I don't answer questions and all), I realize that it happens quite often! Or else I answer with another question: “Why do you want to know that? “, or I anticipate his next question” if it is for [reasons x or y], I warn you that [blablabla]”.

Why so many detours?

It must be tiring for him, and it doesn't encourage him to confide in me.

So now I make it a daily exercise, and it works on my reactivity: question > answer. BAAAM.

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A couple that lasts

January 19, 2022 — Chérie Doudou

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