It's been what, 9 years of marriage and 14 years of relationship?
Did you know that the first time we went out together, I wasn't even sure of my feelings and I dropped it after not even a month?
And that the following year, we went out together again for 2 months, and it was he who told me the famous “ I prefer that we remain friends ”?
Then, we looked for each other, we sent tons of text messages, we took our time to kiss each other, you see the thing. We never managed to be friends, so much we wanted "more so affinities".
We got together for good the following summer. I was going to come in 1st and he in 2nd. We had been waiting for a few months for something or other to get back together. A little more mature, perhaps? The fear that it is not serious enough yet? Fear of going too fast? Because yes, during all these adventures, we were young teenagers. 🙂
The first year was both beautiful and difficult because we were very jealous, possessive, we had trouble trusting each other's love. When we got confused (for almost nothing), we didn't talk to each other for 2 days… I'll spare you the details.
You have to say to yourself:
“Bad start to last, this couple! »
In fact, not that much, because we had the basics:
- We knew each other well, and we got to know each other better and better over the years. This is for me the big advantage of having met young. When I married her, I really knew who I was dealing with . I knew his family well, and he knew mine. It helps to know what “context” each one comes from! When it came time to settle in together, I knew what to expect. Love has not made us blind.
- We did not have not afraid to make a long-term commitment , to build our life together. Was it the carelessness of youth? The Christian education that means that you shouldn't take things lightly in love, but choose someone for life (an education that can have its limits, by the way)? I think it's also, not only our Christian upbringing, but our personal faith in God, and God himself, that has given us this conviction and this determination to commit ourselves to each other. And we will be forever grateful to him.
- If there were a lot of fights, at least that meant we didn't keep our frustrations to ourselves. We have avoid the unspoken and learned to understand each other.
14 years later, I don't think we're the same anymore! We grew up together, fitting in with each other, getting used to each other. One day, someone asked us “so, still together? Still married? :D. It must have impressed her that we got married so young (19 and 20), and that our couple lasted.
What does a couple that lasts do?
All these years with him make me feel loved, confident, safe. It's reassuring to have someone reliable by my side, to know that we are moving forward together and that we will always support each other. I also feel useful and responsible, because I participate in his happiness. I am not on my own, I have a role as a wife and this contributes to give meaning to my life .
Over time, we gain in simplicity and authenticity. Many things are more natural.
Despite everything, making your couple last is not obvious
We sometimes think that it would be less of a headache to be alone – in any case I tell myself, I think he does too :). Good to know :
- Just because we move in together doesn't mean we see each other more. It's necessary take the time for the other , look at him, pay attention to him. We quickly become simple “roommates” when we are each absorbed in our activities.
- The flame does not rekindle itself, and the other is not ours. It takes effort . Not insurmountable efforts: remain admiring of the qualities of the other, continue to try to please him and be pleasant to him...
- Just because the couple lasts doesn't mean they're fine and that the relationship is balanced. Just look at the figures on domestic violence... Questioning yourself is important, and daring to submission and sacrifice . Communicate well.
In short, we celebrated our earthenware wedding
9 years of marriage, it's a long time and at the same time it passes quickly!
When I read it again, I see that I had a rather negative approach… Far be it from me to scare you or to insinuate that being in a relationship is very restrictive. Maybe it's a reaction to everyone who thinks my relationship is perfect. 😀
What is certain is that it is a real happiness to live alongside my husband , not only for what he brings me, but first of all for what he is, and what he becomes. His presence is essential and makes all the difference. I don't believe at all in love / love at first sight where I don't know what that would only last 3 years, because sincerely I love it stronger than at the very beginning.
I love you darling. ♡
And you, how long have you been in a relationship? What is your feeling?
All rights reserved
A couple that lasts